BUILDING A HOUSEHOLD OF FAITH, Message Five

"HOME WRECKERS"
Genesis 39

The forces of nature are powerful. When Hurricane Katrina slammed into New Orleans last year, the results were devastating. We saw houses in the media, severely damaged by the fury of winds and waves. But I could show you other houses in New Orleans in similar condition, not crumbling because of storms, but because of termites!

Before the hurricane struck, New Orleans was being consumed by termites. Within the past decade, 2 billion dollars in damage was done to the city and it costs about 500 million dollars a year to treat them.

Temptation to infidelity works much the same way. It eats away at a marriage until it collapses. We see the destruction of a home. From outside we see what appears the sudden disintegration of a marriage. But not so. It is seldom a sudden storm that brings the relationship down. Rather bite by delicious bite more and more love is eaten away by the pursuit of lust. Then one day the home becomes rubble.

Joseph's story can show us how to exterminate the termites of sexual sin before they destroy our home.

1. THE DANGER THAT HE FACED (v.1-7). Consider:

· ITS SOURCE. Joseph was a red-blooded young man with all the sexual desire any man his age possesses. God has created us as sexual beings. He made us male and female. He has ordained that the act of sex be within the boundaries of marriage.

Sin is always exceeding the boundaries God has established. It is the perverting of God-given drives fulfilled in forbidden ways. God has placed within us appetite. We need to eat to live. But when we become gluttons it is sin. God has put thirst in us. We can't survive long without water. But when we get drunk with alcohol we sin. We need rest. But too much is sloth and that is sin. Sexual temptation is an appeal to legitimate desires to be fulfilled illicitly.

· ITS SPHERE. Temptation comes to Joseph as he goes about his normal course of life. You don't have to go to some topless bar or sleazy brothel. The termites of temptation will come to you. Your home is in danger. Satan wants to wreck it!

2. THE DECISION THAT HE FORTIFIED (v.8-10) We see:

· A MAN OF CONVICTION (v.8-9) I cannot imagine that this is the first time Joseph had considered these issues and how to respond. His prompt obedience flowed from a life of conviction. He knew God's demands and had determined to follow them. Rom.12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...." We are either being conformed to the world or transformed by the Word. Do you have biblical convictions?

· A MAN OF COMMITMENT (v.10) James said, "Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you." But he won't go far and he won't stay long. The devil will be back especially if the devil is in a blue dress.

You made a vow--keep it! You made a promise before God and His people--honor it! No one made you pledge to forsake all others and be faithful to your spouse. It was your choice and now you can choose to keep that commitment.

3. THE DEITY THAT HE FEARED (v.9b) Joseph had a healthy fear of a Holy God. I'm not talking about terror as though God is an abusive Father. He is love, but He is also the Righteous Judge.

· THE REASONING "How can I...?" Joseph had thought through the consequences of yielding to sin. Have you? Here is a list of some of them:

Effects of Infidelity
Nobody is immune to sexual temptation. It is a serious problem and deserves serious attention. This article is meant to be a helpful reminder of how terrible the consequences of falling to sexual temptation can be. If You rehearse these consequences on a regular basis, you will be able to identify the fog of sin's deception which will motivate you to think and live purely today - which is the only way to prevent immorality tomorrow.

CONSEQUENCES WHICH CONCERN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
· Grieving of the Lord who redeemed me.
· Displeasure of the One whose opinion most matters to me.
· Discrediting the name of Yahweh - dragging his name into the mud.
· Loss of reward and commendation from God.
· One day having to look at Jesus face to face and explain why I did it.
· Forcing God to discipline me in various ways.

CONSEQUENCES WHICH CONCERN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SPOUSE AND MY FAMILY
· Untold hurt to ___________________ (fill in spouse's name).
· Loss of _______________'s respect.
· Loss of _______________'s trust.
· If my blindness should continue or if ____________ is unable to forgive me, I could lose him/her.
· Loss of my children's respect.
· Loss of my children's trust.
· If my infidelity should continue or my children are unable to forgive me, I could lose them.
· Loss of example and credibility, nullifying my influence on my family who need to build on their relationships with Christ.
· Because of my present failure, future generations of my family may have difficulty in this area.
· Shame to my family would result.
· The probability that my mother and father would know about my unfaithfulness, and how it would hurt them (possibly even blaming themselves).

CONSEQUENCES BROUGHT UPON MYSELF AS A RESULT OF MY CONDUCT
· Shame and life-long embarrassment to myself.
· Discrediting my own name.
· Loss of self-respect.
· Terrible feelings of guilt are hard to shake; even though God would forgive me, would I forgive myself?
· Plaguing memories and flashbacks that could taint future intimacy with my spouse.
· Failure in the area of sexual temptation may affect my ability to to know "right from wrong" in other important moral areas, having defiled my conscience.

CONSEQUENCES WHICH CONCERN MY FRIENDS AND MINISTRY
· Shame and hurt to my friends and especially those I have taught about Christ and discipled toward spiritual maturity.
· Shame to my church family.
· Shame and hurt to those I work with at _________________________ (fill name of business).
· Weakened faith of those I have ministered to.
· Loss of my children's respect.
· Irretrievable loss of years of witnessing to my unsaved friends and family.
· Possibly keeping some from accepting Christ, being lost for eternity.
· Years of training and/or experience in my ministry wasted for at least a long period of time, maybe for good.
· Surrender of the thing I am called to and love to do (consider aspects of my gifts as used in ministry).
· Following in the footsteps of others I know of whose immorality caused me to grieve.
· Pain to innocent people around me who would get hit by my shrapnel (ie. the sins of Achan, David, and others).

OTHER RAMIFICATIONS
· Bringing great pleasure to Satan, the enemy of God and all that is good.
· Laughter, rejoicing and blasphemous smugness by those who disrespect God and the church (2 Sam. 12:14) .
· Heaping judgment and endless problems on the person I committed adultery with.
· Possible physical consequences (pregnancy from adultery, STD's, AIDS, etc.).

Keep your mind on the things of God, especially upon His Word. Here are a few scripture verses upon which to meditate:
Hold onto instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.--Proverbs 4:13
I have made a covenant with my eyes, how then could I gaze at a virgin?--Job 31:1
Do not set foot on the path of the wicked, or walk in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not travel on it, turn from it and go on your way."--Proverbs 4:14-15
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.--Proverbs 4:23
And do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.--Romans 6:13
Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord is for the body... Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? May it never be!... Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body... For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body."--I Corinthians 6:13-20
Do not be deceived; God is not mocked. A man reaps what he sows.--Galatians 6:7
An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one woman (a one woman kind of man)--I Timothy 3:2
Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.--I Timothy 5:1,2

· THE RESULTS "sin against God?" Ultimately what makes sin to be sin is that it is against God. He sets the standards and He has the right to do so. David confessed in Psalm 51, "Against You, You only have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight."

4. THE DESTRUCTION THAT HE FLED (v.11-12) There is:

· TEMPTATION THAT CANNOT BE EVADED (v.11-12a) We don't have to go looking for sexual temptation--it's everywhere. This is the world we live in, where sex is used to sell cars, perfume, even hamburgers. Modesty has gone the way of the dinosaur. The way people dress and the way they talk, even church folk, is scandalous. We have forgotten how to blush.
· TEMPTATION THAT CAN BE ESCAPED (v.12b) While we can't get away from all temptation, we can flee before the temptation leads into sin. There comes a point of decision. The Bible says, "Flee fornication!"
The Internet poses great dangers. Even though it can be a powerful tool for good (I am using it now), it can also pose grave peril to the unwary. For men who are highly visual we are always but one click away from a world of pornographic images that can begin a downward slide into an abyss of sin. For women who are highly relational they are but one click away from a chatroom where emotional entanglements can enslave and lead to deepening discussions and finally adultery.

5. THE DIFFICULTY THAT HE FACED (v.13-20) It has never been easy to lead a godly life. Joseph wasn't free and clear.

· INTIMIDATION (v.13-18) It has been said that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Mrs. Potiphar was the original Desperate Housewife and now she seeks revenge. If you try to stand for God, you will face the world's wrath. It is not easy to stay pure no matter our age or marital status. But for teens and college age singles there are pressures we can scarcely imagine. Consider the following commentary on our culture from Kairos Journal:

Polysexual and Heteroflexible in a New York High School

During the late-afternoon, free period, Alair, Molly, Ilia, Nathan, Jason, Elle, and Nikki gather in a second-floor hallway of Stuyvesant High School in lower Manhattan. This is their "cuddle puddle," where "[t]here are girls petting girls and girls petting guys and guys petting girls."1 "Exploring their sexuality," these high school juniors are coining terms to describe themselves:
"[P]olysexual, ambisexual, pansexual, pansensual, polyfide, bi-curious, bi-queer, fluid, metroflexible, heteroflexible, heterosexual with lesbian tendencies" or, as Alair puts it, "just sexual." The terms are designed less to achieve specificity than to leave all options open.2
Alair estimates that at least 80% of her female friends are experimenting with lesbianism: "It's either to please a man, or to try it out, or just to be fun, or cause you're bored, or just cause you like it . . . whatever."3 Though not nearly so high, the national average is still alarming. In 2005, the National Center for Health Statistics announced that the percentage of 15 to 19-year-old girls claiming a lesbian encounter (11%) matched that of the general female populace. In other words, girls are rushing into same-sex experiences at a higher rate than before. Indeed, Cornell professor Ritch Savin-Williams believes the youth rate is more nearly 20%.4
At the same high school, four other students have written a joint diary, published as The Notebook Girls.5 Though their language is vile, their behavior deplorable, and their revelations shameless, these four "young ladies" now matriculate at elite colleges--Washington (in St. Louis), Cornell, Wesleyan, and Princeton.6 Far from social outcasts, they are celebrities, with a book contract from Time-Warner. While most of their sexual talk focuses on illicit alliances with boys, they are quite open to same-sex encounters. One of the girls, Julia, writes of her relationship with "Tori":
You guys, I really like her and I can't stop thinking about her! But what does this mean? Am I a lez, I don't think so . . . I mean, I never actually thought I was gay, does that mean I'm definitely not? It's weird and scary to think about if I am . . . I'm just really confused. Not that I need to categorize myself, but I just want to know. What am I? Ahh! . . . Riding the sexuality carousel is not fun. Well, maybe a little bit.7
And so she goes wandering, sadly, without a moral compass, afraid of being "homophobic" and assured by the culture, at every turn, that homosexuality is normal (e.g., some of her classmates observe a "Day of Silence" in honor those "silenced" by the stigma of homosexuality,8 operate or visit a same-sex kissing-booth on the school's "Gayday,"9 and view or appear in plays at a "hardcore boho lesbian theater in the [Greenwich] village."10
Reflecting on her sexual cuddling and puddling, Alair's thoughts turned to her mom and dad: "My parents are awesome. I think they've tried to raise me slightly quirky, like in a very hippie little way, and it totally backfired on them . . . I went further than I think they wanted me to go."11 Alas, the blind have led the blind and are all dismayed, cultural sophistication notwithstanding.
Churches inclined to think of youth ministry in terms of entertainment or sanctified baby-sitting must understand that their young people are facing incredible social pressure to conform to the worst the "adult" world has to offer. But what an opportunity for youth pastors to raise up biblically acute, socially alert, spiritually sound, sexually pure, and even joyful representatives of Christ to a student culture adrift in a sea of self-gratification and self-destruction. What a time and place for salt and light.

Footnotes :
1
Alex Morris,"The Cuddle Puddle of Stuyvesant High School," New York, February 6, 2006, 23, http://newyorkmetro.com/news/features/15589/ (accessed May 15, 2006).
2
Morris, 30.
3
Morris, 28.
4
Ibid.
5
Julia Baskin, Lindsey Newman, Sophie Pollitt-Cohen, and Courtney Toombs, The Notebook Girls (New York: Warner Books, 2006), no page numbers given in the book.
6
Baskin, et al.
7
Ibid.
8
Ibid.
9
Ibid.
10
Ibid.
11
Morris, 32.

How we must pray and set the standard for young people or marriage as we know it will sink into a black hole of immorality!
· ISOLATION (v.19-20) Don't you think Satan whispered in Joseph's ear, "You could have been enjoying the pleasure of a woman's body, but instead you're locked up in jail." The devil still tries to tell us we're missing out. We feel isolated in a world of pleasure seekers. It's not easy to stand alone, but observe:

6. THE DELIGHT THAT HE FOUND (v.21-23) There was:

· A PRESENT FAVOR (v.21-22) God blessed Joseph. Studies have shown that a committed monogamous relationship results in the most fulfilling sexual pleasure. Then we will have:
· A PROSPEROUS FUTURE (v.23) God had a great plan in place for Joseph. He became a ruler and savior of his people. Joseph married and had children. His legacy of faith is a shining beacon to all of us. What would have happened had be failed?

On Memorial Day we honor those brave men and women who paid the ultimate price for our freedom. Many of the first to die in any war are the Marines who always seem to be on the forefront of the fight. They have a motto, "Semper Fidelis" Latin for "always faithful." When they roll my cold corpse into the church and my wife comes by the coffin, my prayer is that she can look in and say about me, "Semper Fidelis!" I want my kids to be able to say of their Dad, "Semper Fidelis." Most of all, one day I want Jesus to say, "Semper Fidelis"--ALWAYS FAITHFUL!