THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE

“This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.  Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.”  (Gen.2:24-25 HCSB)

Marriage is a Divine institution.  The first wedding was performed by God.  It is the fundamental building block for society—and God laid the foundation.  As such, He ordained the parameters that make a marriage.  For millennia, there had been few questions about the meaning of marriage, but in our day, the relationships between people and ideas about marriage have become so distorted that the definition of marriage must again be reasserted.

Marriage is meant to be PURE.  We read of this first marriage and see a man and woman standing before each other with no shame.  There was no shame because there was no guilt.  Their relationship was pure.

The modern argument is, “Why, I wouldn’t buy a car unless I took it on a test drive!”  This is used to excuse hooking up, leading to shacking up, when what needs to happen is a guy needs to man up and if he loves a woman, give her a ring, wed her and only then bed her!  People are not cars to be “test-driven.”  Humans have memories and emotions—and all that is done wrong leads to guilt and shame, which rather than enhancing the possibility of a later successful marriage undermines it.  The foundation thus set with lust and not love, getting and not giving—so when the storms come later, as they surely will—the home collapses.

Another polluted way of thinking is, “If two people love each other, why shouldn’t they be permitted to marry?”  This is used to make a plea for homosexual marriage.  Clearly God formed sexual beings—heterosexual beings, male and female—and designed us in such a way that this is the only legitimate expression for marriage.  The physical union and procreation of the species requires a man and a woman.  Both of these are at the core of God’s design for marriage.

Marriage is meant to be PARTICULAR.  Adam and Eve—one man and one woman—were placed in a monogamous relationship.  This was always God’s design, and even though there are instances in the Old Testament where people practiced polygamy, it was never given Divine sanction, and the problems associated with the practice are evident.  Polygamy is something that is looming on the horizon as the next acceptable perversion of marriage, and has been glamorized in the media in recent days.  This is not marriage as God ordained.

Marriage is to be PERMANENT.  The HCSB renders it, “bonds to his wife” and that’s a great picture of the permanent nature of this union.  When you take two pieces of wood and bond them together, if you later try to break them apart, you do not break the bond, you break the wood.  How many broken homes, lead to broken hearts—and children are often the broken pieces when a marriage splinters.  Divorce is so destructive.  We realize that divorce does happen and it is not the unpardonable sin.  There are at least a couple of reasons given when it may be permitted, although it is never demanded.  Jesus said that a marriage break-up is due to the hardness of the heart—at least on the part of one partner, and often both to some degree.  From the beginning, God’s intention was for this institution to be permanent—a lifelong commitment ended only by death.

Marriage is to be PUBLIC.  Note the leaving of father and mother and the bonding of husband and wife—a public commitment is made where all can witness that a new family unit has been formed.  While it is true that Adam and Eve had no human parents, God used the occasion to establish the pattern and teach the principle of the public nature of a marriage commitment.

“It’s only a piece of paper!”  If two people “commit” to each other, then what’s the point of a legal proceeding?  An argument akin to this is, “What right does the government have to get involved in marriage?”

A public commitment is a legal proceeding.  Government has also been ordained by God for the preservation of society.  Government has an appointment by God to promote good and prohibit evil—its primary function.  The state thus should be a benevolent partner to the church in establishing solid marriages that produce a better citizenry, thus building a better society.  As the home goes, so goes the nation and the church—both profit, and both have responsibilities in regulating and commending marriage through their practices and policies.

Marriage is to be PHYSICAL.  The couple becomes one flesh, naked and unashamed.  Sex is not dirty.  God created it and made it good—very good!  There is a bond formed, an intimacy developed, an expression of love that cements a healthy relationship between the two.  The honeymoon may end in a week, but romance is to remain for a lifetime.  The best way to keep a spouse from seeking someone else’s arms is to hold them tight in yours!  God intends for this relationship to produce godly offspring that will impact the world for Christ.

This is only an overview.  A book could be written—and many of them have been.  But, these truths are drawn from the Good Book—timeless texts inspired by an unchanging God.  When Jesus taught about marriage, this was His authoritative text.  If I follow Christ, then I will submit to His teaching in every area—including marriage.

I have set before you God’s ideal.  We live in a fallen world.  Sin happens and it soon wrecked paradise.  The impact on Adam and Eve’s relationship and family was dramatic.  However, Christ came to redeem us from the curse of sin—in every dimension of life.  So no matter where you may be in your relationship, no matter the failings of the past, or struggles in the present, we can repent and by the grace of God move on.  This is our goal by the grace of God.