These two
words taken together mean that a pastor rejects a contentious attitude and
refuses contentious acts. Gentleness is
the attitude we embrace and saying kind words is the activity we evidence
rather than being quarrelsome with our talk.
It is first an attitude before it is an action.
Mark it
down—find someone who is always trying to start a conflict with someone, they
are experiencing conflict in their soul.
The tension between the flesh and the Spirit, doubt and faith, obedience
or disobedience—too often yielding to sin rather than surrendering to God in
this war within, with accompanying guilt and shame—is the source of strife with
others. We must be at peace in our
souls, submitted to the sovereignty of God, if we would exhibit peace with
those made in His image. Bitterness
toward God and His dealings with us—our disappointment with Him—leads to
belligerence toward others in our dealings with them.
But do we
reject all contentiousness? Is there not
a time, “to contend earnestly for the
faith” (Jude 3 )? Absolutely!
There will be need to stand for truth, yet we can do it compassionately
as well as clearly. Our message may be
confrontational, but our motive and manner can be caring. The preacher who has a disposition marked by
ill-will is what is forbidden. Such a
man is always spoiling for a fight—eager to cast down the gauntlet over trivial
matters. We must contend for things that
are essential to the Gospel, and stand for principle, while not being
contentious about preferences in extraneous and peripheral issues. The pastor dare not be a “Bible bully!”
The ISV
renders this, “He must not be
argumentative,” and The Message paraphrases it, “not thin-skinned.” Beware
having an ego that is easily bruised with its accompanying reactions. Greek scholar, Kenneth Wuest commented that a
pastor, “does not go about with a chip on his shoulder.” If you do, someone will knock that chip off
and then there is a brawl. How this
undermines the credibility of our message of love—such a contradiction!
A PRAYER
Tender
and Long-suffering Lord,
How much
You put up with concerning us! We are so
grateful that You are not thin-skinned!
If you were, there would be no hope for us. Help us be patient in our dealings with
others. Remind us that to skin the hide
of the sheep is to slaughter them!
Rather, let us lead them with kindness instead of driving them with
contentiousness. May our souls be calm
in submission to Your will, whatever our circumstances may be. Help us be led of the Spirit and not reacting
out of fleshly impulse. Remind us to
take a deep breath, and think before we speak.
Cause our faces to be warm and inviting, instead of wrathful and
rejecting.In Christ’s Name and for His Sake,
Amen.
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