GETTING ALONG WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
OUR REJOICING WITH THE HAPPY AND OUR RESPONSE TO THE HURTING

Paul shows us the way to get along with difficult people in Romans 12:14-21. We all need the help because we all know difficult people—and sometimes we are those difficult people! Today, we consider two types of people that may give us difficulty: the happy and the hurting. With these we are commanded to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (v.15).

OUR REJOICING WITH THE HAPPY: “Rejoice with those who rejoice…” (v.15a).

That sounds simple enough compared to the previously stated expectation of responding with love to the hateful (v.14), but actually it is not quite as easy as it seems. Again, it is our nature to rejoice when something makes us happy, but can we rejoice with others who have found happiness? Aren’t we tempted to think, “Why did they get that job promotion, when I’m more deserving?” “Why did God answer their prayer, but He doesn’t answer mine?” Covetousness can soon capture our heart and instead of rejoicing with those who rejoice, we seek a reason to find fault and criticize. Rejoicing can give way to resentment.

OUR RESPONSE TO THE HURTING: “weep with those who weep” (v.15b).

We don’t like to hear crying. It makes us uncomfortable. It reminds us of our own pain. But we are to weep with those that weep. This is what we call empathy—putting ourselves into the shoes of another and feeling what they feel—their tears to mingle with ours. Life is full of heartaches and when another weeps with us, that sorrow seems half as heavy, because another is helping bear that burden. Notice it isn’t so much what we express with words, but weeping that is called for.

Job faced a tidal wave of trouble. At first, his friends came and just sat with him—and that was good. But then in the midst of his misery and unanswered perplexity, Job’s friends tried to defend God and explain it all, winding up blaming Job for the calamity. Job then called them, “miserable comforters.” They were! Weep with the weeping—that’s the best thing you can do—the ministry of your presence and pity. They don’t need your profundity—at least not then.

The shortest verse in Scripture is no less powerful for its brevity. It simply states, “Jesus wept.” Here is the Son of God at the graveside of his dear friend Lazarus and alongside the beloved sisters Mary and Martha. What does He do in their grief? He joins them. He weeps with the weepers. So should we.

Several weeks ago, I visited with my eldest son, Chris, wife Amber and family. One evening we went to Applebee’s for supper and a lady came by with balloons that she would make into animals. Spotting the kiddos—and grandpa—at the table, she made sure to stop by, and I saw pinned to her shirt a button, “I make balloon animals for tips!” Here was some easy money for her. What’s a Papa to do? Every child had to have an animal. Makayla, granddaughter, age 10, got a dog; Jacob, grandson, age 5, an orange tiger, and Sam, grandson, age 3, a tiger—a blue tiger. After the meal, we headed to Walmart and the balloon animals were left in the car, since Mom knew they would be either lost or popped in the store. Despite the good intentions, when we came back to the car—the dog was fine, the orange tiger intact, but the blue tiger was deflated, except for its head. Little Sam was upset, of course. But then, the sweetest thing happened. Jacob reached over to his younger sibling and said, “I’m sorry Sam, you can play with my balloon.” It melted my heart—such pure love!

That’s how Christians need to care for each other. Learn to say with a child’s sincerity to someone who has experienced loss, “I’m sorry. You can play with my balloon.”