DEALING WITH DEATH

“Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me, even if he dies, will live. Everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die — ever. Do you believe this?’” (John 11:25-26 HCSB)

Why?

It’s the age-old question isn’t it? There seems to be so many vexing, perplexing things we face in life. We look to an all-knowing God and pose the question.

There is little heartache we encounter that can be as debilitating as the death of someone we love. Sorrow rises up like a tsunami of grief and descends on us with such force as to bring us to our knees.

And the nagging question we often face is why? Oh, an autopsy might reveal the reason a person died. A death certificate might list the cause and time of death. But, our question is, “Where was God in all this?”

All of us, at any stage of life may ask, but we tend to be a bit more accepting when the person who dies is very old and has been extremely sick for a prolonged period. But, death does not just come to the old. What about when a baby we have been expecting with such joy arrives stillborn? What about when a child gets cancer and we watch him or her waste away—the tender little bloom wilts, the petals fall to the ground and they are gone? What about a teenager with so many plans, so much to give and their life is cut off by a drunk driver without so much as a chance to say, “Good bye”? What about a couple bound by love, the spouse sent off with a kiss and then comes the dreadful phone call—they’ve been taken by ambulance to the emergency room with a massive heart attack; you rush to the hospital and are met by the chaplain and the words, “I am so sorry’? What about the grandparent just retired that will take the grandkids fishing or have them over for a sleepover—read them stories and take them to Disneyworld—so many memories to make, unmade by a stroke from which there is no recovery?

Something screams inside us, “Why?”

Maybe you’ve been told that you shouldn’t dare ask God, “Why?” But, Jesus did. On the cross, he said, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?” He asked the question—and He did so without sin—so we may ask also.

That’s how Jesus felt. Maybe you feel that way now. Sometimes we think we are past it, and some bittersweet memory resurfaces the pain that is ever lingering just in the shadows of our soul.

We may not get an answer at that point. Just be prepared for that. Sometimes heaven is silent. Jesus got no response. It was as though God had turned His back on His Son.

What did He do? He resigned Himself in faith and hope to the Father’s will, and uttered with cracked lips and swollen tongue, “‘Father, into Your hands I entrust My spirit.’ Saying this, He breathed His last.” (Luke 23:46)

We know that we need to get there, but we are still on the journey through the valley of the shadow of death. We understand that we will emerge someday from the shadowlands and into the light of glory, where everything will be clear.

But we are not home yet and now our minds are still haunted with, “Why?”

I don’t have all the answers. God hasn’t revealed everything. Yet because we don’t know all things, does not mean that we don’t know any thing.

God has given us enough insight to hang our faith on…enough hope to give us an anchor in the storms of life. “We have this ⌊hope⌋ as an anchor for our lives, safe and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19a)

One such anchor of truth is found in the eleventh chapter of John. There are a few insights that can help us.

GOD WILL EVENTUALLY WORK ALL THINGS FOR OUR GOOD AND HIS GLORY.

“Now a man was sick, Lazarus, from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. Mary was the one who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair, and it was her brother Lazarus who was sick. So the sisters sent a message to Him: ‘Lord, the one You love is sick.’ When Jesus heard it, He said, ‘This sickness will not end in death but is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.’” (John 11:1-4)

Sickness comes into the home of Martha and Mary and then sorrow follows with the death of their brother, Lazarus. At times, the outcome of this story looks bleak. But, Jesus knew how the story would end—with Lazarus being raised from the dead. There would be more glory given to God by not healing Lazarus, than by raising him!

Though the death of a family member hurts like everything now, I want to assure you that in the end, all will be well. The groans give way to glory.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us. For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to futility — not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it — in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage of corruption into the glorious freedom of God’s children. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together with labor pains until now. And not only that, but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits — we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. Now in this hope we were saved, yet hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience.” (Rom.8:18-25)

GOD LOVES US NO MATTER WHAT.

“Now Jesus loved Martha, her sister, and Lazarus.” (John 11:5)

Several times the Lord’s love for this family is mentioned in the chapter. This never changed, although their circumstances did.

When we are tempted to doubt that love, all we have to do is look at the cross. There we see beyond our suffering and sorrow to the suffering of the Son and the sorrow of the Father. The cross is the testimony of God’s unfailing love and the incredible price paid to take us to heaven.

GOD KNOWS MORE THAN WE KNOW.

“So when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.” (John 11:6)

That is a strange statement—a friend has an urgent need, Jesus can fix it—in fact, He doesn’t even have to go to Bethany, He can just say the word and the sickness would depart. But, He doesn’t. What Jesus does is deliberately delay!

It doesn’t make sense—at least, on the surface. The reality is that an amoeba has as much likelihood of understanding quantum physics as we have of understanding supreme Intelligence.

God knows more than we know. In our story, Jesus knew full well what He was going to do, though the disciples couldn’t grasp it and Mary and Martha certainly didn’t get it.

“He said this, and then He told them, ‘Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I’m on My way to wake him up.’ Then the disciples said to Him, ‘Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will get well.’ Jesus, however, was speaking about his death, but they thought He was speaking about natural sleep. So Jesus then told them plainly, ‘Lazarus has died. I’m glad for you that I wasn’t there so that you may believe. But let’s go to him.’” (v.11-15)

Several years ago, my son Corey wound up in the hospital with a broken arm. I accompanied him back to the X-Ray Room, but had to sit outside while they took the little fellow in for the test. I could hear what was going on in the room as they stretched out his arm and manipulated it into position for the test—he screamed for me in pain, “Daddy! Daddy! Oh, it hurts…Daddy!” It broke my heart, but I knew he had to go through this. I couldn’t intervene. I knew what he did not understand. He felt abandoned into the hands of strangers who were hurting him. But, I was there, unseen, just outside a heavy wooden door.

So is God. He is there. There would come a time when Corey would know I was not gone—and that leads me to the next truth.

JESUS COMES TO US IN OUR SORROW.

“When Jesus arrived, He found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days.” (v.17)

At first it seemed Jesus was late—too late—four days overdue. But, He did come—and on His schedule. But, the important thing is that He showed up.

Although Jesus doesn’t immunize us from grief, He doesn’t isolate Himself from us in our grief. He comes to us in our sorrow. You can hear His voice in His Word and know His touch in your soul. Whisper a prayer, and He is there.

He has promised, “I will not leave you as orphans; I am coming to you.” (John 14:18)

FRIENDS CAN HELP US IN OUR GRIEF.

“Many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their brother.” (John 11:19)

There are always a few who show up at a funeral to get some of the chicken casserole and potato salad served by the church Bereavement Committee. Occasionally, some will say stupid things that exacerbate a person’s grief rather than relieve it. But, most come because they really care—and that helps a family.

I have told the story many times of a small boy who was awakened in the middle of the night by the clap of thunder and flash of lightning. He cried out for his parents. They wanted to sleep and said, “It’s just a storm. Go back to sleep.” He kept screaming, “But I’m afraid!” So, Mom says, “Honey, God is watching over you. You don’t need to be scared.” The lad responded, “But, I need somebody with skin on them!”

That is the church, the Body of Christ. It is God “with skin” who reaches out through our hands to strengthen their trembling ones. It is how God gives a shoulder for the grief-stricken to cry on. He borrows our shoulder. This is why the local church fellowship is so vital. It is not good to be alone. We need the ministry of human kindness.

IT HELPS TO BE HONEST WITH GOD.

“Then Martha said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.’” (v.21)

It was an accusation—an expression of hurt. The underlying question was, “Lord, why? Why didn’t you come? Why didn’t you do something? Don’t you care?” She wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, but she was distraught.

We have permission to be human. God understands and has much patience with us. He has designed us with the need to vent or we will either implode in depression or explode in rage.

God is not surprised by how upset you are; neither threatened by your questions; nor caught off guard by your raw emotions and the concurring thoughts that rise in your mind. God knows what we’re thinking, anyway.

So, why not shed tears and speak your mind? Pour out your soul to God. It will help to express the pain rather than try to bottle it up.

But, then what? What is the next step? Martha responds with a rising faith and not a reinforced fury.

“Yet even now I know that whatever You ask from God, God will give You.” (John 11:22)

Facing the death of a family member or friend will make you better or bitter. You have no choice about this encounter with death—it is the human condition and will be until death is swallowed up by eternity. The only choice we have is how we are going to respond to the inevitable. It will become a bridge or a barrier to God.

“Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.” (Hebrews 12:15).

At the point of the crisis, God provides grace sufficient to meet the demand upon us. The warning is that we might choose bitterness rather than brokenness. It becomes a destructive power and defiling pollution for us and those about us.

You are going to have to deal with death. Will you do it with God or without Him? That is the only choice before you. Run to Him and not from Him.

Here’s why: WE HAVE A SYMPATHETIC SAVIOR.

“When Mary came to where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet and told Him, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died!’

When Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, He was angry in His spirit and deeply moved. ‘Where have you put him?’ He asked.

‘Lord,’ they told Him, ‘come and see.’

Jesus wept.” (John 11:32-35)

Jesus was angry over the ravages wrought by sin. He was moved by the pain He saw about Him—knowing full well it did not have to be that way. Adam and Eve could have eaten of the Tree of Life, but chose to consume forbidden fruit—and death came to curse the planet with its horror.

Jesus was moved to tears. Two words, “Jesus wept”—the shortest verse in the Bible—contain such sublime truth.

This is in large measure why He came to earth. There is not a pain you face that He hasn’t felt. He knows what you are feeling right now. Do you weep for a loved one? Jesus has done that. Must you travel to a cemetery? Jesus has been there.

He did more than that. He would enable us to deal with death in the present because He will deliver us from death in the future!

Look at what happened:

“So they removed the stone. Then Jesus raised His eyes and said, ‘Father, I thank You that You heard Me. I know that You always hear Me, but because of the crowd standing here I said this, so they may believe You sent Me.’ After He said this, He shouted with a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ The dead man came out bound hand and foot with linen strips and with his face wrapped in a cloth. Jesus said to them, ‘Loose him and let him go.’” (John 11:41-44)

Jesus holds the keys to death, hell and the grave. He has overcome death in His resurrection and so gives the promise:

“Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me, even if he dies, will live. Everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die — ever. Do you believe this? ” (John 11:25-26)

The child of God, whose physical form ceases to function, does not truly die—they just move out of a house no longer fit for occupancy into the eternal home God prepares for them. They are not dead—but more alive than ever! They have just changed addresses.

Do you believe this? This is how we deal with death. Martha’s confession must be ours, “‘Yes, Lord,’ she told Him, ‘I believe You are the Messiah, the Son of God, who comes into the world.’” (John 11:27)