THE DISCIPLINE AND DIRECTION OF CHILDREN

Proverbs 22:6, 8, 15, 19, 21

When I began ministry and had no child, I could preach a sermon, “10 Surefire Ways to Raise Godly Champions.”  Then, I had children, and the sermon was modified, “5 Great Helps for Raising Good Children.”  When they became teens, it morphed to, “A Couple of Ideas to Consider about Kids.”  That’s a joke, but the reality is that it is easier to talk about what parents ought to do than to do it. What sounds easy in theory is agony in application.  A mother’s labor at birth can surely be no harder than a parent’s labor in raising those kids.  I have heard, “When they are small they step on your toes, but when they are grown they stomp on your heart.”  Yet, we need to hear and heed what the Word of God says about the discipline and direction of children.  As G.K. Chesterton said, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult; and left untried.”  

1.  TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN AND TRUST THE LORD.  “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (v.6). The natural bent of a child is toward self and sin.  They must be trained in a different direction.  The law is meant to be a tutor to show them their need of grace (Gal.3:22-25). This is not an ironclad guarantee they will grow up to walk in God’s way, for they must have a new birth. God has children, but no grandchildren. Yet, they will never be able to get away from that training. No matter where they go or what they decide, it will abide with them. So, we then entrust them to the Lord.

2. TAME YOUR PASSIONS AND SHUN ANGER. 

“He who sows iniquity will reap sorrow, And the rod of his anger will fail. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.” (v.8, 15). No matter what I say, my children will more likely become what I do.  Actions speak louder than words. If I sow the seeds of sin in hypocrisy, I will likely reap the sorrow of children who mock my “faith.”  Children must also be disciplined.  It is not enough to tell them what to do, but right conduct must be rewarded and wrong behavior corrected. Corporal punishment is part of that process.  Yet, it cannot be administered in anger or it will fail in its intent (see also Eph.6:4). 

3.  TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WHAT AND WHY.  “So that your trust may be in the LORD; I have instructed you today, even you. That I may make you know the certainty of the words of truth, That you may answer words of truth To those who send to you?” (v.19, 21). Solomon taught his son, and we must teach our children the truth. The Word of God is the basis of faith in God (see Rom.10:17). But, it isn’t enough to teach them what—we must teach them why. They need to know “the certainty of the words of truth.”  We must prepare them to give an answer to a world hostile to their faith as we send them out as ambassadors for the King.