WHO’S YOUR ONE? Day 23

The Power of Words

“Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us that God may open a door to us for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains, so that I may make it known as I should. Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭4:2-6‬ ‭CSB‬‬

We are dependent on the Lord throughout the whole process of evangelism. We not only need God’s power to open doors for us to share, but we need Him to give us discernment to know how and when to walk through the doors He has opened. When we find ourselves in a gospel conversation, we may wonder what we should say, do and when we should speak with boldness or ask questions. As the Holy Spirit guides us in our gospel conversations, we should not underestimate the power of our words. It’s not just about what we say in presenting the gospel but how we say it. As the Lord directs us, our words should be gracious and seasoned with salt so we would know how to respond to each person we encounter.

Pray the Lord would open doors for you to share the gospel with your one this week, and pray your words would be gracious as you share the good news of Christ. (From “Who’s Your One?” Devotional, NAMB)

RELATIONAL HEALTH

How healthy are your relationships?  Whether, those relationships are with a spouse, another family member, a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker or fellow student, even a church member, are they healthy?  Paul gives us some vital signs to check in Ephesians 4:30-32 that register our relational fitness.

1.  RELATIONAL COMMITMENT IS PRACTICED. “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.” (v.30). There are many ways we can grieve the Holy Spirit.  A chief way is through our lack of commitment to those we love.  He has sealed us—that is the Spirit has come into the believer as a guarantee of salvation, and He has promised to be ever-present.  When we walk away from a relationship because it is difficult, He is broken-hearted, for He will never do that!

2.  RELATIONAL CANCERS ARE REMOVED. “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” (v.31). If you are diagnosed with cancer, and the surgeon puts you under anesthesia and under the knife, the first question you will have for the doctor when you awake is, “Did you get it all?”  You know if any cancer remains, it will recur. Paul tells us to get rid of all relational malignancies.  These things will kill a relationship!

3.  REAL COMPASSION IS EXERCISED. “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” (v.32). Real compassion means I do acts of kindness toward others. It is felt in how I am tenderhearted toward others. Essentially, it is given in how I forgive others.  In this, I follow the example of my Lord.  Surely, if He has forgiven me so much, then I can forgive others who have done less in comparison!  Read the story Jesus told in Matt.18:21-35. We will study that later this week.

How did your relational vitals read?

MIGHTY MOUTH

What we say and the way we say it makes such a difference. When our words issue from our lips, they have power for good or evil. Once spoken, just like toothpaste squeezed out of a tube, you cannot put the words back in.  They have a life of their own. 

1.  OUR SPEECH CAN EXTINGUISH OR EXACERBATE CONFLICT. “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”(Proverbs 15:1). The easiest thing to do when attacked by wrathful words is to respond in kind.  That is bound to fuel the fire of anger.  The wise thing is to respond softly—and that fights the fire. 

2.  OUR SPEECH CAN BE WISE OR WICKED. “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.” (Proverbs 15:2). A man or woman of wisdom speaks words that disclose their smarts. On the other hand, a person of wickedness speaks words that disclose their stupidity. What we say is an indicator of what we are. 

3. OUR SPEECH CAN BE HEALING OR HURTFUL. “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4). Our words can help make people well, or they can cause a wound.  They bind up or break down. Is what you say healing or hurtful?

May the Lord use our speech to honor Him and help others today.  What we say will do one or the other. 

JESUS MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

When is a door not a door?  When it’s ajar!  I know that’s corny, but it makes an important point. The Christian is not just someone who tries stopping certain behaviors, but, by the grace of God, becomes different than they were.  The Apostle Paul speaks to this in Ephesians 4.  Of course, he tells us to stop sinning against our fellowman, but more—to start serving our fellowman.

Paul, the champion of grace, reminds us of the place of our works.  We are not saved because of what we do, but there are things we don’t do and actions that we do because we are saved. “Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need.” (v.28‬)

When is a thief not a thief?  When they become a productive member of society.  It isn’t enough to stop taking—though we must.  We are to also start giving. Bonnie and Clyde were notorious bank robbers, yet they didn’t steal 24 hours a day.  But, neither were they contributing to the good of others.  The Christian life runs on two tracks—a negative and positive—if it isn’t to be derailed.  We must stop taking from others in selfishness and start contributing to others in selflessness.

Not only are our works important, so are our words.  “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” (v.29‬). Words are powerful.  They can hurt or they can heal.  We are not to carelessly tear down others, but to carefully build up others by our speech.  We can choose corrupt or constrictive language.  Whatever is in the well of our heart will be brought up by the bucket of our mouth. If there is grace in our soul, then there will be grace in our speech.

God deliver us from sin and direct us into sanctification!  Take away the old and put in the new, Lord!  Do you know what that is?  Repentance. We turn from wickedness and turn to righteousness. Christ makes a difference!

THE HEART OF THE MATTER

“The preparations of the heart belong to man, But the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.

Everyone proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD; Though they join forces, none will go unpunished.

A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

The wise in heart will be called prudent, And sweetness of the lips increases learning.

The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds learning to his lips.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:1, 5, 9, 21, 23‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Your heart is important.  It is the organ that enables the rest of you to go on living as it pumps blood that feeds the other organs.  When I go for a physical, the doctor listens to my heart, takes my blood pressure, checks my pulse rate, and does an EKG.  Recently, I went to the emergency room, thinking I was having a heart attack.  It turned out to be an infection around my heart—painful, but one from which I recovered quickly. Still, it got my attention!

In Scripture, the heart is seen as even more than that—going beyond the organ that pumps blood, and being the seat of our thoughts, emotions, motives, and actions. It is the core of our being.  The heart of the matter is  a matter of the heart. If we are not healthy there, then we are not healthy at all—physically and spiritually.  Five times in Proverbs 16, Solomon references the heart.

1.  OUR HEART IS THE SEAT OF OUR INTENTIONS (v.1). Sadly, left to ourselves, even the best of our intentions is misguided because, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” (Jer.17:9). The heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.  From this foul well arises foolish speech.  Yet, God is sovereign, and able to transform both heart and speech, if we cast ourselves on His grace.

2.  GOD REJECTS THE PROUD IN HEART (v.5). Those who are proud in heart do not think they need God.  They seek the glory that only belongs to Him.  This shuts off the supply of grace.  “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6; 1 Pet.5:5). On which side of that issue do you want to be?

3.  FOLLOWING YOUR HEART IS A DANGEROUS THING (v.9). “Follow your heart,” is the misguided advice we hear from the culture.  Since our sinful heart beckons us to appease the flesh, we become like rats following the Pied Piper to our doom. The wise submit to a Sovereign God who has infinite knowledge and power.

4.  WE CAN BECOME WISE IN HEART THROUGH LEARNING GOD’S WORD (v.21). The whole point of the Proverbs (and indeed all of Scripture) is to direct us to truth and away from deception.  This is what we experience, when we receive Christ who is, “The way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6a). Our minds can be renewed.  We can have a new heart—and a sweet vocabulary rather than a poisoned one.

5. OUR SPEECH REVEALS WHAT IS IN OUR HEART (v.23). Jesus said, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke‬ ‭6:45‬). Listen to someone long enough and you will know whether they have a depraved heart or a regenerate one.

How is your heart?

THE TAMING OF THE TONGUE

James says that men have tamed all manner of wild beasts, but cannot tame the tongue (see James 3:1-12).  That is no excuse for careless conversation, however, for the Spirit can sanctify our speech.  God’s grace can transform our talk. Our words can hurt or heal; they can bless or blast. Proverbs has much to say on this topic.  We will consider a few verses in chapter 15.

1.  ANGER CAN BE EXTINGUISHED OR INFLAMED BY OUR SPEECH, “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” (v.1) Our tongue will be like a bucket of water or gasoline.

2.  OUR WORDS CAN BE CAREFULLY CHOSEN TO SHARE WISDOM OR WE CAN UNLEASH A FLOOD OF FOOLISHNESS.  “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.” (v.2). “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.” (v.28). An old axiom is, “Better to remain silent and let others think you stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!”

3.  WORDS CAN HEAL OR HARM. “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (v.4). “The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, And a good report makes the bones healthy.” (v.30) Negative talk is hurtful, while positive speech is healing. 

4.  WORDS CAN BE WISE OR WICKED.  “The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, But the heart of the fool does not do so.” (v.7). The doctor looks at your tongue because it reveals much about what is going on inside you. 

5. PRODUCTIVE TALK SPOKEN AT THE PRECISE TIME BLESSES BOTH THE HEARER AND THE SPEAKER. “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!” (v.23). So we must think before we speak about the who, when, and what of our words.

6.  OUR WORDS COME FROM THE WELL OF OUR THOUGHTS AND GOD EVALUATES BOTH.  “The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD, But the words of the pure are pleasant.” (v.26). If the well of our thoughts is polluted, our speech will be, but on the other hand if our thoughts are pure, our speech will be pleasant.

You can use your tongue to curse men or bless their Maker.  What will you do today?

HOW TO EXPERIENCE INTIMACY WITH GOD

LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle?  Who may dwell in Your holy hill?  (Psalm 15:1)

God designed us with the capacity for intimacy with Him.  We find Adam and Eve walking in the garden with the Creator, but then sin disrupted that fellowship.  It still does.  The good news is that God sought out those first humans and He seeks after us today.  David shows us how to have intimacy with God in Psalm 15.

The question is whether we will respond to this Holy God—will I deal with the sin barriers in my life?  The implication in David’s question (v.1) suggests that we dare not rush rudely into God’s presence, but must pause and approach Him reverently.  Does He love us and desire our company?  Of course!  Yet, He is God so holy—above and beyond us.

Our walk must be upright (v.2a).  We do not slink around as a serpent, but stand upright with a spine stiffened by conviction.  Our feet move in lockstep with God’s commandments.

Our work must be righteous (v.2b).  Our hands are not used to serve ourselves, but to serve God by serving others.  It isn’t just that we refrain from doing the wrong thing, but that we actively pursue doing the right thing.

Our words must be sincere (v.2c-3).  Notice that what is on our lips is connected with what is in our heart.  There is to be no hypocrisy or inconsistency between what we think and how we talk.  Integrity demands that we mean what we say and say what we mean.  Our words are spoken to build up not to break down.  Backbiting is banished from our mouth.  Such a person does not take advantage of his neighbor or use his friends.  He or she has the best interest of others at heart.

Our associations must be godly (v.4a).  You cannot run with the wrong crowd and walk with God.  They are going the opposite direction.  We will be influenced by our associations.  If we are enamored with today’s celebrities who have the morals of alley cats then we will find ourselves thinking, talking, and acting like them.  If we honor holy men and women by meditating upon and modeling after them, then their influence will inspire us.  When I study the lives of men and women who were intimate with God, they create a hunger in my heart for the same experience.

Our possessions must not possess us (v.4b-5a).  The person who walks with God is a giver and not a taker because that is the nature of God.  He or she will keep their commitments, no matter what it costs them financially, because they know if they fail to do so it will cost them much more spiritually.  Such a one resists the corrupting influence of the love of money.  Their character is not for sale.

We will not always do everything perfectly, but we can do it better progressively (v.5b).  These traits will be the hallmark of our life.  When people think of us, these characteristics will come to mind.  Best of all, God knows the inclination of our hearts and the God-directed life will bring us into His fellowship.  Our feet will be firmly planted on God’s path, with no backsliding.  We will not find ourselves taking the Devil’s detours.

It is our privilege to have fellowship with God.  Through Christ our salvation makes us righteous before God, and by His Spirit our sanctification enables us to live righteously as we draw near to Him.

A POLITICIAN WHO KEPT HIS PROMISE

And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD, and said, “If You will indeed deliver the people of Ammon into my hands, then it will be that whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the people of Ammon, shall surely be the LORD’s, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.”  (Judges 11:30-31)

Oxymorons are figures of speech that express opposites.  For example, we refer to jumbo shrimp, the same difference, pretty ugly—and honest politicians.  It is sad when we associate politicians with broken promises.  In Judges 11, there is a politician who kept his promise—a man named Jephthah.  His entire life is an oxymoron—a study in contrasts.  He is listed in the rollcall of faith champions in Hebrews 11, but in Judges 11 he evidences several character flaws.  His greatest triumph led to his greatest tragedy.  It fits the narrative in Judges, however, for the book is filled with heroic successes and horrible sins—often in the same chapter and by the same character!

Jephthah’s past was filled with difficulty (v.1-3).  His mother was a prostitute.  He carried the stigma of illegitimacy.  How sad it is that children are often born into a hard situation—not because of their choice, but the consequences of adult sin.  That was true of Jephthah and we see much of it today.  Worse than any mockery he might have known outside the home were the taunts of his family.  Where he should have found shelter and acceptance, he had strife and anger.  Having his fill of it, he ran away from home.  He was a survivor.  The difficulties shaped him into a leader.  Jephthah attracted a number of other malcontents, and they became mercenaries.  The valor of Jephthah became renowned.  The reality is—by the grace of God—we can rise above our past.  A poor upbringing can be turned from a hindrance to a help.  Instead of it being a fire inside to consume us with rage, it can be a fire inside to ignite us to rise!

Jephthah’s resume’ would not have impressed someone looking for a leader.  God, however, delights to reach into the garbage dump, bring out a discarded and battered tool, clean it up, and make it useful again.  Most of us are reclamation projects (read 1 Cor.1:26-29).  When Israel needed help, they sought Jephthah to lead them in battle.  When God uses people like this, He gets all the glory.  The man did not seek the position, but the position sought the man.  It is your duty to prepare yourself for service and God’s responsibility to place you in service.

The Ammonites had declared war on Israel.  Jephthah tried to negotiate peace, but when that was rejected, he called the people to battle (v.12-28).  It was then that this politician made a promise he would keep, but one that he should never have made (v.29-40).  Jephthah had the Spirit of God with Him, and that was all He needed!  He was chosen by God and that was enough.  Instead, he makes a rash vow that will lead to the death of his young daughter.  God did not condone his action, Scripture simply records the folly of it.  He should have prayed what we need to pray, “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.”  (Ps.141:3)  Jephthah had enough faith to lead an army, but too much folly to control his tongue. ' May the Lord help us!    

THE GREAT PURSUIT

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  (James 4:8a)

“Why do some persons 'find' God in a way that others do not?  Why does God manifest His Presence to some and let multitudes of others struggle along in the half-light of imperfect Christian experience?  Of course the will of God is the same for all.  He has no favorites within His household.  All He has ever done for any of His children He will do for all of His children.  The difference lies not with God but with us.”  That’s what A.W. Tozer said in his classic book, “The Pursuit of God.”   We have as much of God as we desire.  James tells us that in chapter four of his letter.  This is the great pursuit, and four things are required to “find” God fully.

The first requirement is COMMITMENT (v.8a).  God wants us and woos us, but we must respond to His love.  There must be a commitment that we want Him.  I heard a story of an old couple driving the beat up pickup truck down a dusty country road.  Old Eb is behind the wheel, and his wife is scooted over to the passenger side window, wistfully looking out at the cornfields.  She says, “Eb, remember how we used to sit so close?  How we would ride down the road right against each other?”  To that Eb simply replied, “I ain’t moved.”  God hasn’t moved.  We are the ones who need to scoot back over!

The second requirement is CLEANSING (v.8b).  Has there been a time you were in your dirty work clothes and had to make a run to the store?  You hoped no one you knew would see you—or smell you.  Sin is a barrier to intimacy with a Holy God.  Adam and Eve enjoyed walking with God in the garden, until sin came, and then they ran and hid.  Thankfully, God made provision for their forgiveness.  We can be cleansed.  That’s why Jesus came.  We must confess that we are soiled and the barrier will be broken.

The third requirement is CONTRITION (v.9-10).  Sin is not only an activity—where we do the wrong deeds—but, it is an attitude—when we have the wrong disposition.  If I do not take sin seriously, then I show I do not take God seriously.  If I do not humbly repent of my pride, then access to God’s gracious presence will be denied.  My heart needs to be broken by what breaks the heart of God.  It has been the eyes are the windows of the soul.  If that is true, then the windows need washing with tears of contrition.  Then we can see God clearly, and the light of His love will flow in unobstructed.

The fourth requirement is CONTROL (v.11-12).  James has much to say about the tongue and the need to control what we say.  He returns to that theme here.  When I speak wickedly about someone else in a judgmental way, I am inviting God to judge me accordingly.  When we visit the doctor, one of the first things he does is ask you to open your mouth and stick out your tongue.  He can assess much about the state of your health by looking in your mouth.  That is true concerning our spiritual health as well.

Let us not accept a cheap substitute for God by pursuing the things of this world—that is idolatry.  May we give ourselves fully to the great pursuit of the true and living God!

OUR SACRED STEWARDSHIP

Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  (Ephesians 5:17)

Typically, when we hear the word, “stewardship,” we think about money.  That is an element of stewardship, yet, it is much more than that.  In the ancient world, a steward was a household servant entrusted with the goods of another and accountable to his master for how he managed those assets.  Therefore, we believers are servants of God, given His goods to care for and invest—time, talent, treasure—all the gifts of God bestowed on earth in view of the day of accounting in eternity.

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 5:15-17 that we are STEWARDS OF OUR STEPS.  We are to “walk circumspectly”—to be careful where we place our feet, setting them on the right path.  As a child, I learned this truth when taught to sing, “Be careful little feet where you go…There’s a Father up above, and He’s looking down in love, so be careful little feet where you go.”  God has a path for us to travel—a course established according to His will and purpose for us.  Yet, we walk through a spiritual minefield in this world of sin.  We must, therefore, walk in wisdom (v.15).  A wise walk is directed by our roadmap—the Word of God, and accessed through prayer (James 1:5).  In this walk, we treasure the time (v.16).  There is a destination called eternity and only a set number of hours on earth—so our pace must be swift and steady—not being detoured by the Devil! 

Then, we are to be STEWARDS OF OUR SANCTUARY (Eph.5:18).  Our body is the sanctuary of the Spirit (1 Cor.6:15-20).  Jesus has purchased us with His blood, and we will render an account of the deeds done in the body at the Judgment Seat of Christ (2 Cor.5:6-10).  Paul tells us that there is an intoxication to be refused, “do not be drunk with wine….”  Alcohol is so dangerous that avoiding it altogether is the wisest course.  Drunkenness is dissipation—a wild and wanton waste of life.  We have all witnessed the sad result of abusing alcohol—destroying family, finances and health.  Instead, we are called to an infilling to be received, “be filled with the Spirit….”  In refusing to let your body be under the control of alcohol, yield your body to the control of the Holy Spirit!  As destructive as the former is, so delightful is the latter.  The old hymn tells us how to be filled with the Spirit, “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

Furthermore, we are STEWARDS OF OUR SPEECH (Eph.5:19-21).  Jesus said, “for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.”  (Matt.12:36)  This has implications in our singing (v.19).  If our heart is in tune with God, then the lyrics of our lips will flow from the love for Him in our heart.  This has implications for our thanksgiving (v.20).  We bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the Lord.  Rather than the destructive expression of grumbling, there is the constructive exclamation of gratitude.  This has implications for our submitting (v.21).  We defer to one another when we speak words that heal rather than hurt—when we consider others as to the effects of our speech.

We have a sacred stewardship—how will we invest our time, our body, and our words?

CONNECTED THROUGH WORDS: Helpful Speech

 

 

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Ephesians 4:29-30)

Our words should be honest.  But, they should also be helpful.  You can be brutally honest.  As a child I can remember having someone walk up to me and say, “You have big ears!”  They may be elephantine, but there is no value in sharing that assessment!  It is like the fellow who was asked by his wife, “Does this dress make me look fat?” who replied, “No, dear, it’s your hips that make you look that way.”  He then could see nothing because of his black and blue eyes, swollen shut from the punch she gave him!

We are to be honest—and helpful—in what we say.  Truth needs to be told, but we do not have to tell everything we know!  Someone may respond, “I’m transparent—I just say what I think!”  Perhaps you shouldn’t think things like that, when it comes to being demeaning about others.  If you allow that prickly attitude to be nurtured in the soil of your soul, then you aren’t likely to stick others with the thorns of hurtful talk.  The weeds of wicked words need to be uprooted at the source

Helpful speech is when GODLESS TALK IS SILENCED, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth” (Ephesians 4:29a).  Our hearts are corrupt—and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  That is where the corrupt language spews forth.  But, the child of God has a new heart—the Divine nature of Christ has been implanted by His indwelling Spirit.  The old, polluted fountain can be plugged by the Cross, and a fresh, flowing stream of life-giving waters can be spoken.  If the vileness of foul language is predominant, we should rightfully consider if the Cross has been applied!  Yet, even so, there is the possibility as long as we are in this world of sin, and inhabiting this body of death, that a trickle of corruption might leak out.  Beware lest a trickle become a torrent!  One of the first things I noticed about my new birth is that a new vocabulary developed.

Helpful speech is when GRACIOUS TALK IS SPOKEN, “what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”  In contrast to godless talk that is harmful, gracious talk is helpful.  It is not enough to silence evil words, we must speak good words.  Jesus Christ has put grace in our hearts, but we are not to be reservoirs—we are to be rivers.  My life is to be a channel of blessing, and my words are often the pipeline dispensing that grace to others.  Just moments ago, I e-mailed a missionary we support, living in a distant and dangerous place, a brief word of encouragement.  It may be the sip of refreshing water that enables him to press on in a dry and barren wilderness of the pagan place where he ministers.  Gracious words build up—that is the meaning of “edification.”  Someone you know needs building up today!

Helpful speech is when GRIEVOUS TALK IS SHUNNED, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.”  (Ephesians 4:30)  There are numerous ways that we can grieve the Holy Spirit, but surely sinful speech is meant in this context.  He is the Spirit of Truth who comes to build up His church, so if we speak in ways that are dishonest and divisive, that grieves Him.  He is faithful to seal us as God’s children—and He will not abandon us.  When our speech repels others from the fellowship, how it wounds the Spirit!  God’s Spirit sees what even the struggling saint will become in the day of redemption, and assures him or her of the end result.  When I am too busy picking our failures and magnifying flaws in my fellow church members, can I not see how that breaks the Spirit’s heart?  He is not a hoot owl, or a shrieking war eagle, but the Dove of Peace.  Words that disturb the peace of the believer and beat the drums of war among the people of God are grievous to Him!  That ought to grieve us and drive us to our knees in repentance and then rise and run into the arms of each other in reconciliation.

I am taking the time to share these words because they are helpful!  But, the potential aid of these truths will only become powerful as they are applied.  My prayer is that I will be an example of this with my family and to my flock.  I desire that as I encounter the lost souls in my world today that my words would be winsome that I may win some.

Is that your prayer?

CONNECTED THROUGH WORDS: Honest Speech

 

Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.  “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.  Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. (Ephesians 4:25-28)

Our Triune God is a God of truth: God the Father speaks truth (Isa.45:19); God the Son declared Himself to be Truth (John 14:6); God the Holy Spirit is described as “The Spirit of truth” (John 16:13).  Therefore, His children bear His likeness is speaking the truth.

Deception is of the Devil, who is “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).  Those who belong to him are marked by an habitual nature of lying, and the end is judgment in the Lake of Fire (Rev.21:8).

It isn’t that a believer is incapable of lying, or else Paul would not warn us about it, “putting away lying” (Eph.4:25a).  The one who is regenerate might lapse into telling a lie, but he or she will not have a lifestyle dominated by lies.

Yet, it is not enough in the church to exclude deceptive talk, we must embrace honest speech, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor” (Eph.4:25b).  Words that are faithful and true build connection, “for we are members of one another.” (Eph.4:25c)  A person’s commitment can be counted on because they are people of integrity.  We do not lie to others because we do not want them to lie to us.

Honest speech is helpful and hopeful, therefore, it is not ultimately harmful.  That doesn’t mean it is always painless.  Truth may demand reproof and rebuke, but then adds a word of encouragement and instruction (2 Tim.4:2).  Think of it as a surgeon’s scalpel that hurts in order to heal.  Confronting error and sin with truth, however, is not for condemnation, but compassion.  It doesn’t drive people down in despair over their failure, but lifts them up with hope for their future.  We have a responsibility to help make the body healthy because we are members of that body—each of us affecting the others.

Connection can be disrupted by deception and disloyalty, and a congregation can also be divided by angry words.  There will be times that anger rises as an emotion—the response of righteousness to injustice.  That, in and of itself, is not wrong.  God becomes righteously indignant toward evil and its horrible cost.  Anger can move us to promote that which is good and stand against what it wrong.  The problem is that if anger is not expressed in a righteous way, it is such a powerful emotion that it becomes a corrosive force poured out on another in a sinful way. “Be angry, and do not sin” (Eph.4:26a). Sadly, that is typically how anger is unleashed in the church, as people bite and devour one another.

You cannot just hold anger inside, and let it become bitterness either—for then it eats away at you, “do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (Eph.4:26b).  It can become like a volcano, with pressure building and building, until one day we explode with destructive force.  That’s why we find the source of anger and ask God for grace to overcome.  We do it right away—and do not let the sunset with it smoldering within.  If we need to meet with someone, and settle the matter, we do it as soon as possible, to speak with honesty and yet not brutality—the object being reconciliation.  If that doesn’t work, then there is a process of the involvement of other godly people in mediation, and that failing, the church as a whole calls for reconciliation (Matt.18:15-19).  If that strong medicine doesn’t cure the issue, then the member may have to be excluded as a diseased member of the Body which can kill that local church.  Even so, the discipline is in hope that it brings repentance that leads to reconciliation.

Some people are like a stick of dynamite with a short fuse, ready to blow up at the slightest spark of provocation.  They walk around with a chip on their shoulder, daring someone to knock it off.  We are warned, “nor give place to the devil.” (Eph.4:27).  When this is permitted in the congregation, it is like going to the front door of the church, and inviting the Devil to come in and destroy the church!

Speaking the truth in love is our goal—and when we do, we give a treasure that enriches another spiritually.  “Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need.” (Eph.4:28). When we speak in slander or in rage, we rob others of their reputation and their joy.  The former strengthens our connection with other Christians, while the latter severs it. 

You have a choice about what you say and how you say it, and your words will make a difference.